Parvez Dewan’s
Sanober and the
Slave
A fairy tale
With a little help from my friends
(an acknowledgement)
Dear friends, I’d like to tell you
That nice Miss Amrit Brar
Moved continents to get me help
To polish this memoir.
I’d like to thank Kalpana Kaul
And also Yasmeen Rauf
For patiently correcting me
Whenever I would goof.
I am grateful to Moushumi Biswas—
Till her boss flew into a rage—
For trying to serialise this song
In The Asian Age.
To Mridu for encouragement
To Anisa for boosting morale
To Sarah and Afshan for bearing with me
And also to Vasudha Jaswall;
To Nafisa Draboo, for being there
To help the story grow;
Providing all the input and
Making ideas flow.
Purely coincidental
(In lieu of the mandatory disclaimer)
How can the characters of this book
Resemble anyone alive or dead?
For angels only dwell in tales
(And sometimes in their author’s head).
And as for slaves, Adnan & Co.,
We’d only like to posit
That slavery was banned ages ago
(Get real, man. Was it?)
Sanober and the Slave
Cast of characters
(In the order of their appearance)
Bick, a male angel, pretty, smooth-cheeked
Butt, another male angel, pretty, floppy-wristed
The bouncer at Club Paradiso
Sanober, the fairest angel in the Universe
Mr. K.D., an angel, alternately the benefactor and tormentor of young lovers
Hamza, the Lord of the angels
Deeba, a female angel
Adnan, a slave, but a prince among the slaves
Dania, a slave girl
The voice of Sanober’s secretary
Afshi, the girl on the mountain, a seer
Khair ull, a slave girl
Two slave-drivers, Adnan’s employers, the owners of the quarry
The two talking cliffs, the chisel, the mallet, the axe, the ladder, the scaffold.
Sanober and the Slave
A fairy tale
You know the nights—
One thousand and one—
Well, you think you know the lot;
Come, children, I will tell you a tale
That Scheherzade forgot.
Saturday Night in Angel-land
It’s Saturday night in Angel-land
And the angels want to be naughty;
Since sin is banned in Angel-land
They eye their neighbour’s party.
Bick: It’s Saturday night and even angels
Want to do something naughty;
Butt: Since sin is banned in Angel-land
Let’s crash our neighbour’s party!
Bick: They say in a place called Hell, between
Fixed Stars and Primum Mobilio;
They’ve got an all-night discotheque
Butt: You’re talking of Club Paradiso!
Bick: Let’s tiptoe out of Angel-land
Butt: Let’s scale the walls of heaven;
Bick: Then sail across infernal skies
Butt: ’Cause the folks here sleep at eleven!
So, Bick and Butt, they tiptoed out and slipped out of Angel-land
Clad in their finest club togs for a night of pleasures banned.
They swam through a sea of seagram—now does that ring a bell?
And choked on the breath of the Marlbro Man as they flew to hell.
Once there, the two were greeted by
A man oozing with grease-o
He seemed to be the bouncer of
Club Paradiso.
Club Paradiso
The Bouncer: What brings you here, my pretty boys?
Should you not be in bed?
How’d Hamza feel if he got to know
You were painting the Universe red?
Bick:
It’s Saturday night and the two of us
Butt:
Want to do something naughty;
Bick:
But we can’t do wicked things out there
Butt:
So we want to join your party!
Bick: We tiptoed out of Angel-land
Butt: We scaled the walls of heaven
Bick: Then sailed Across the Universe
Butt: ’Cause the folks there sleep at eleven!
The Bouncer: That’s all very well, my babies
But I cannot let you in;
Ours is an exclusive establishment
Dedicated to pleasure and sin.
We’ve got a reputation to protect
(And a market share)
Did you really think in togs like those
We’d let you dance in there?
Bick:
With Good Girls being in short supply
Butt:
Angel-land gets very lonely;
The Bouncer:
But you simply must bring a date—
We admit Couples Only.
Bick: We passed through the seven circles—
Butt: Inferno and purgatorio—
Bick: And put up with fiendish noises
Butt: Like PD’s latest Oratorio.
Bick: So please, Mr.Bouncer, don’t decimate
Already sublimated libidos;
Butt: Don’t send us back to Angel-land
Just because we forgot our tuxedoes.
Bick:
Let me in —
Butt:
It’ll be a favour
Bick: I’ll find a way to repay
Both: But don’t send me back to Angel-land
’Cause I am not in a D.J.
Bick: Ah, I have in this flask a brew
Which does not bite or stink;
Butt: If you’re a good boy while you’re on Earth
You get this later on to drink.
The Bouncer took the flask but still
Refused to let them in
They huffed an’ puffed but he said `No,’
By the hair of his chinny chin chin.
The Bouncer: It’s because this does not bite or stink
That it’s meant for kids like you;
If you really want to humour me
Get me some Earthly brew.
I’ll forgive you for dressing like mammas’ boys
I’ll forgive you your beardless chin;
But all your tears and all your bribes
Will still not get you in.
So, Bick and Butt, they tiptoed out
To fly back to Angel-land
Clad in their slickest club togs
For a dance where foppery was banned.
They swam back through a seagram sea
(What was that? Who can tell?)
They choked on the fumes of cancersticks
On their way from Hell.
Bick: It’s Saturday night and even angels
Wanted to do something naughty
Butt: Since we didn’t have a date we could not
Crash our neighbour’s party!
Bick: So what do we do next Saturday?
Butt: Let’s start thinking this through;
Bick: We’ve got to get ourselves a date
Butt:But the whole question is `Who’?
Bick: Of all the angels in the Universe
Butt: Of all the girls I’ve seen
Bick: There’s none as fair, bright, beautiful
Both: As the gorgeous Sanober Ameen!
Both: Of all the angels in the Universe
Of all the girls we’ve seen
There’s none as fair, bright, beautiful
As the gorgeous Sanober Ameen!
Now, Sanober was no fairy
(She was not indifferent to men)
In fact, the F-word will not pop up
In our tale again.
We are PC —we are no homophobes
(And that’s where things get hairy)
We choose to call her an ‘angel’
When we really want to say ‘fairy’.
Saturday Night Again
It’s Saturday night again,
But the boys still don’t have a date
They’re scared of being bounced right back
When they get to the Deathly Gate.
It’s Saturday night again,
But the boys still don’t have a date
So they go over to beg Sanober,
And Deeba, her sunny roommate.
Bick: It’s Saturday night again!
Butt: But we still don’t have a date.
Bick: Sanober, Sanober, come out with us
Both: We are going for a wild gyrate.
Sanober, Sanober, come out with us
Don’t just sit there and vegetate.
Bick: Sanober, Sanober, won’t you dance with me?
Butt: Sanober, Sanober, take a chance with me
Bick: We are going to Club Paradiso
Both: Come, horse around and prance with me.
Sanober’s eyes they lit up
At the mention of a discotheque;
She looked at Deeba as if to ask
`Should we go or take a rain cheque?’
Sanober: I’m dying to burn up calories
In a sweaty, smoky discotheque;
Deeba, what say you, should we go?
Or should we just take a rain cheque?
Deeba: It’s Saturday night again!
And the boys don’t have a date.
I’d love to shake a leg or two
And go on a wild gyrate.
Sanober, Sanober, let’s fly with them
Let’s not sit here and vegetate.
Get me a tattoo
On my shoulder
Get me a pierced nose;
Get me a shorter skirt—be bolder
Get me fishnet hose.
So the foursome flew across the skies,
Till they came to the Gates of Hell;
The Bouncer smiled, for he knew they were hooked
They’d be regulars, he could tell.
He waved them in, but even through the din
He could hear them beg the Queen—
He could see Bick and Butt, go down on their knees
For a dance with Sanober Ameen.
Bick: Sanober, Sanober, won’t you dance with me?
Butt: Sanober, Sanober, take a chance with me
Bick: We’ve come to Club Paradiso
Both: Come, go into a trance with me.
Sanober: You guys needed us to get you in
And that we’ve done, so now—
Leave us alone, to dance on our own
It was nice having known you—ciao!
Bick: Sanober, Sanober, won’t you dance with me?
Butt: Sanober, Sanober, take a chance with me
Bick: We’ve come to Club Paradiso
Both: Come, go into a trance with me.
Sanober went into a trance all right,
When the music started to play;
She danced all evening, and she danced all night,
She’d have even danced all next day.
So, the boys and Deeba started thinking of ways
To stop the Dancing Princess and rein her,
When Bick recalled that the trick was to stall
The DJ from playing the Macarena.
Deeba: In a hip-hop rap party
The way we’ll overcome and rein her
Is to look for the DJ and ask him not to play
Pete Seeger, rap or Macarena.
Butt: Good evening again, Mr. Bouncer,
Would you know how to find the DJ?
If he takes requests, then on my behest
Could you ask Macarena not to play?
The Bouncer: Hullo, mate, what is the problem?
Been stood up by your date?
If I were you I’d have dumped her
Than let her snub and humiliate.
Butt: I’d have done the same but for your rules
You wouldn’t let us in except in twos;
The Bouncer: Only fools don’t know how to get around rules—
Now, you could have brought me some booze.
Not that goody-goody stuff that you get in Angel-land
You only get on Earth that liquid clear;
Which we denizens of Hell had guzzled all our lives—
Why do you think they sent us here?
Bick: So, when it’s Saturday night again
Butt: We don’t have to bring a date!
Bick: If we slip you some Earthly potions
Both: You will let us through the Deathly Gate!
The Brewing Storm
And down below on Planet Earth
There is sadness and there is mirth;
But some like the sad-eyed Dania
Always seem to get less than their worth.
By day she goes to the quarry—
Gives water and food to the slaves;
By night she reads the stars and the charts
To see how the future behaves.
Tonight, as she studied the stars,
Hamza, K.D., Deeba, Bick and Butt
Decided to watch from above
As her losses she tried to cut.
Hamza:
Down below on Planet Earth
There is sadness and there’s mirth;
Mr. K.D.:
For some like the sad-eyed Dania
Always seem to get less than their worth.
Hamza:
By day she goes to the quarry—
Mr. K.D.:
Gives water and food to the slaves;
Hamza:
By night she reads the stars and the charts
Mr. K.D.:
To see how the future behaves.
Hamza:
Tonight when she studies the stars
Let’s watch her from above;
Mr. K.D.:
Let me bring Deeba, Bick and Butt over
To show them the pitfalls of love.
Dania:
I see a storm brewing in my life
And a dazzling rival emerge;
I see an angel-face come down to Earth—
Many lives seared by the surge.
And none of the three will get what they want
Each yearning for the one they can not get;
But if they content themselves with their lot
There just might be hope for them yet.
But the angels, it seems, have decided
That though their passions might be one-sided
Many lovers shall this quarry beget.
I see a storm brewing in my life
I see a rival no human can beat;
I’m a slavegirl—though I’m the best of the lot
How can I with an angel compete?
I see a storm brewing in my life
I see a dazzling rival emerge;
I see an angelface come down to Earth—
Three lives seared by the surge.
Right then the object of her affections,
Adnan, the leader of the slaves,
On his way back from the quarry
Happened to pass that way.
The Brush Off
Dania: Adnan! Adnan! Where have you been?
Adnan: Around.
Dania: Adnan! It’s ages since you were last seen.
Adnan: Perhaps.
Dania: Adnan! Adnan! Why didn’t you look me up?
Adnan: Stop that noise.
Dania: Adnan! Adnan! Were you with a girl?
Adnan: I told you I was with the boys.
Dania: I called you several times
But always those wretched slimes
Who work for you said the same old thing:
That you’d gone to the bazaar
You’d be back by midnight hour
Can’t they think of new excuses for their King?
Adnan: Woman, you toil in vain.
Why don’t you go away?
Can’t you see, isn’t it plain—
We’ve run out of things to say.
And there’s nothing left for us to talk about.
So, will you kindly leave—please get out.
There is nothing left for us to talk about.
Mr. K.D.’s Revenge
Bick and Butt were not amused
To such crassness they were not used
So they turned around and squealed to Mr. K.D.,
‘Surely, that’s no way for a man to treat a lady?’
Bick: Surely, Mister K.D.
That’s no way to treat a lady
Won’t you punish the Slave for what he’s doing?
Mr. K.D.: Punish him? He’s broken no law
Though I can see that there’s a flaw
In the way that girl is conducting her wooing.
Still, I’d love to punish the man for what he’s doing.
If you hurt a girl like that you’ll get a chewing.
Deeba: Punish? But what’s the crime?
You can see he has no time
For that woman harassing him all the while.
Butt:
He’s got the looks, but not the style
Bick:
He gets the women—then squirts his bile
Butt:
He has no class—his ways are infantile.
Bick:
Methinks this man deserves to be rendered immobile.
Butt:
Does this man deserve to be
Bick:
The hit that he is with the girls?
Butt:
Does this man deserve to beat the odds?
Bick:
Who let him have so many?
Butt:
I don’t have half that number.
Bick:
Pablo said, ‘Revenge’s the pleasure of Gods.’
Bick and Butt:
We think this man deserves to be rendered immobile.
Mr. K.D.:
Listen to Mr. K.D.!
I have got the very lady
Who will turn the tables, set Addy boy right;
Her looks will blow his mind
Then she’ll pay back him in kind
For the way he has been treating womankind.
We will turn the tables, set Addy boy right.
Mr. K.D., Bick and Butt:
He needs to understand that love must requite.
Deeba: I still don’t understand
What you’ve got against the man
Did he promise Dania something and then lie?
Is he obliged to mush
Every girl who has a crush
Did he lead her on, or give her the glad eye?
In fact in all the Universe
If ever a man was born
Who deserves to get our Sanober
It’s the slave king Adnan.
If she’s got eyes that drive men wild
He’s got his biceps, too;
If she has the freshness of a child
Adnan is straight and true.
So send her down to Planet Earth
Unite her with the man
Who was made for Sanober, and
Give up your evil plan.
Mr. K.D.(to himself) The plan remains unchanged, my girl,
Indeed we’ll fly the Angel down;
She’ll flash her famous smile
And Addy, for a while,
Will be reduced to playing the clown.
The Only Angel in the Universe
The next day back in Angel-land
The elders were thinking of her
(Just as I do all the time—
Mooning for Sanober.)
Hamza: (to himself) I have a job that calls for
Charm, tact, precision;
And there’s only one angel who
Can transact this mission .
Mr. K.D.: (also to himself) Those who tread my path know how
To mix fiction with fact;
If you stick to the truth you’ll never get
Past the preliminary act.
Hamza: I think we should send her to Earth
I think the time is ripe;
Mr.K.D.: Off the face of a man on Planet Earth
There’s a smugness I’d like to wipe.
It is a job that calls for
The greatest charm and tact;
And there’s only one angel who
This mission can transact.
Both: (each to himself) Of all the angels in the Universe
Of all the girls I have seen
There’s none who can pull off this job
But the lovely Sanober Ameen!
And when they uttered that magic name
The angels began to hum;
And out of the clouds in a shower of light
Came Sanober, the Golden One.
And after she had saluted them
She looked them in the eye
And asked them why they’d called her there
And where dwelt their cockshy.
Sanober: Lord Hamza, Mister K.D.
You called me, here I am;
Tell me, what would you have me do?
Where is the sacrificial lamb?
Hamza:
On Planet Earth there lives a slave
A leader of his men;
Mr. K.D.:
We want you to fly down to Earth
And nab him in his den.
Hamza:
He lives for the Lord, but for a living
Works in a granite quarry;
Mr. K.D. If he’s tall, dark, crude, muscle-bound
Princess, that man’s your quarry.
Hamza: (to Sanober) It is a job that calls for
Charm, tact, precision;
And there’s only one angel who
Can transact this mission.
Mr.K.D. (to himself):
I love people who fall in love
That slave is not my type;
On the face of a man on Planet Earth
There’s a smugness I’d like to wipe.
(to Sanober)
It is a job that calls for
The greatest charm and tact;
And there’s only one angel who
This mission can transact.
Hamza and K.D.: Of all the angels in the Universe
Of all the girls we’ve seen
There’s none who can pull off this job
But you, O Sanober Ameen!
The Quarry
So, armed with Hamza’s blessings
And K.D’s devious plan
The Princess, she flew down to Earth
To seek the condemned man.
As she scanned the quarries of the world
She left a glow behind;
When Sanober steps on Planet Earth
It’s a favour to mankind.
And in a quarry was a slave
Who was not like the rest;
Taller than all his fellow men
He had the broadest chest.
Past canyon and cliff he looked around
And spied a sparkling face;
Her glow told him that Sanober was
Not of the Human race.
His biceps bounced this way and that
As he hewed into the stone;
And sweat rolled down his naked chest
Flowing past his collarbone.
At her girlish feet, beneath a tree
He saw a shaded spot;
He said, `Lady, can I sit for a while?
The sun’s a bit too hot.’
She said to him, `O mortal, tell me,
Could you be Adnan—
Chief of the slaves, who’d carved in stone
A bust of the Sultan?’
Surprised to learn that she knew of him
And of the things he’d done
He asked the angel if she was
Sanober, the Golden One.
Adnan:
By your childlike feet, beneath this tree
There is a shaded spot;
So, Angelface, can I sit for a while?
The sun’s a bit too hot.
Sanober:
Of course, you can, but mortal, tell me,
Could you be Adnan—
Chief of the slaves, who’d carved in stone
A bust of the Sultan?
Adnan: How know you of this humble slave
Or of the things I’ve done;
Could you be the girl who’s been prophesied
Sanober, the Golden One?
Sanober: Indeed, I am the Angelface,
I’m down here for the while
To brighten up you mortals’ lives
And blind you with my smile.
I’ll fly from town to town to spread
My sunshine everywhere
And after I’ve livened things up
I’ll vanish in the air.
How know you that I’m Sanober?
O mortal you must be
One of the few who spoke my name
As it was meant to be.
I’ve been sent down to teach you things
By K.D. who’s a dear;
And the boys asked me to get potions —
But that’s not why I’m here.
I’m here ’cause I want to do the things
Which we don’t in Angel-land;
To eat red meat and junk food and
See all the ’toons I can.
Five times a day when you call out to pray
We hear you in Angel-land;
Adnan, I’m here to hear your voice
Of which I am a fan.
Now K.D. had been watching Adnan—
And the Angel, too,
As they went through all the motions
That new lovers go through.
So, K.D. shot an arrow, which zipped across the sky
Till it reached the marked man, invisible to the eye.
In pain the slave he gripped his chest
For the region on the left
It felt an ache that was much too delicious to defy.
Adnan: (to himself, aside) Oh God! Oh God! Oh God! Is this real—or just a dream?
The prettiest girl in the Universe sitting right next to me!
She says she’s come here in order to listen to my voice.
Except to fall in love with her, tell me have I a choice?
An angel’d come to hear his voice
Adnan could not believe his luck,
And that, my friends, and oh, my foes
Was when the second arrow struck.
It struck him when he wondered if
He could dare to be her friend;
She told him that the ones she liked
Were older, wiser men.
Adnan:
But I am just a slave, and you an angel
How can I presume to be your friend?
Sanober:
You’re much too harsh on yourself, O stranger,
My best friends are older, wiser men.
So won’t you help me get the potion,
O prince among the slaves?
It’ll help the boys get into clubs
And technotronic raves.
I’ll come here every evening
Just when the Sun has set;
But must return to Angel-land
Before supper is ate.
And she kept her word each evening
She’d come when the Sun had flown;
In all his life the quarry-slave
Had never such happiness known.
Forbidden Potions
Yet, that day when the Angel left
This thought stormed through his mind,
‘Should I get the Angel something
The Word forbids mankind?’
Adnan: (to himself) I’ll move the Earth to make come true
Every wish that crosses her mind;
But should I get the Angel things
The Word forbids mankind?
There’s a girl out there in the mountains
Wise beyond her years;
She has not only the potion
But answers to my fears.
I’ll have to walk on bridges of rope
And swim through rivers mean;
But I’ll do everything it takes
To please Sanober Ameen.
So he walked on bridges of rope
And swam through rivers mean;
But he did everything it took
To please Sanober Ameen
Then he came to the girl in the mountains
Wise beyond her years;
Who had not only the potion sought
But answers to Adnan’s fears.
But Afshi, too, was reluctant
To give him the wanted potion;
For the liquid gave some pleasure
But caused greater commotion.
Adnan: Afshi, I’m here reluctantly
To seek the forbidden potion;
A liquid that gives pleasure, but
Causes greater commotion.
Afshi: In it there is some profit
But greater is the sin;
The heart might have uses for it
But the brain begins to spin.
It’s the handiwork of Satan
Who wants us to hate and fight;
It keeps us from God and prayer.
Should it not merit our spite?
And those who choose to be righteous
Have been promised a Garden;
With rivers of water pure and clear
Which does not change or harden.
Which would you rather drink, my friend,
That honey and milk of joy;
Or this potion that cheers for a while
Then tends to vex and annoy?
Adnan: I don’t dispute anything you’ve said
And I know what you mean;
But I’ll do anything to please
The lovely Sanober Ameen.
Afshi: Then take this flask and be gone, O slave,
You’re captive to your emotions;
You would have found the Lord if you
Were so steadfast in your devotions.
Then back over bridges of rope
And back through rivers of ice
He took the flask to Sanober
Who smiled and merely said, `Nice.’
Adnan was flabbergasted
(He’d expected a better price);
His dreams lay shattered because his
Reward was a mere, `Nice.
Adnan: O Princess, here’s the thing you seek
Your friends needed this device
To bribe their way to clubs and raves
I lay it at your feet—
Sanober: —Nice!
Adnan: (to himself) Is that all that she has to say
For swimming through rivers of ice?
I lay my life at her feet and all
She has to say is, ‘Nice.’
Then shyly she lifted The Eyes
(Which make stronger men flip)
And said, ‘D’you think it’s possible
For me to have a sip?’
Sanober: I believe that potion has the power
To conjure an exciting trip;
Do you think it would be possible
For me to have a sip?
Adnan: (to himself) There is no way I can deny her
Her wishes are my command;
But am I right in giving her
What The Word would reprimand?
Let me open this flask for her
And let me share her thrill;
If I don’t do it for this girl
Someone else surely will.
I dare not admit it to anyone
Lest as a hick I am indicted;
But the thought of my Baby drinking that
Gets me aroused, excited.
That I’ll get to put my lips where she does
Gets me aroused, excited.
Since it’s her desire, she is to
Forbidden pleasures invited;
I dare not admit it to myself—
But, Angel, I’m excited.
But the Angel had no such inhibitions
Her eyes said she was delighted;
Unlike The Slave she spoke her mind
And said that she was excited.
To put his lips where she had hers
Was more than he could ask;
Adnan chuckled to himself
As he gave her the flask.
Adnan: (to himself) Who says we are the stronger sex?
How easily we get benighted
And blow our minds when the one we love
Says:
Sanober: I am excited!
In the entire Universe there wasn’t a girl
Who by artifice was so unblest;
And that’s when the third of K.D.’s arrows
Struck Our Slave Boy’s chest.
He was excited at being with her
Though she was excited ’bout the potion;
Still, how could he not but fall in love
With a girl with such guileless emotion?
As the cup touched her lips he wondered
Dare he touch them with his own?
By the time he could sort that one out
For the night the angel had flown.
The next day when she came
It was to say goodbye;
To say all the usual things—
‘I’ll stay in touch, don’t cry.’
Stay in Touch
Sanober: Thank you for all that you have done
But I must fly back to the Sun
A world of boring bliss, rules and fetters;
To keep me from feeling alone
To bring back the days that have flown
I want you to write me lots of letters.
Adnan: You’re a denizen of the air
You’ll forget me once you are there
Surrounded by your dudes and jetsetters.
I am just a rustic man
Trying to do the best I can
But I just can’t compete with my betters.
Since I can’t fly out to you
It is going to be up to you
Whether or not we ever meet again;
I’ll be miserable tomorrow
Drowned in loneliness and sorrow
Hoping you’ll return to the land of men.
Sanober: Whether we meet or not
I will think of you a lot
I’m glad I came to earth and I met you;
Meeting or no meeting—
That’s a different thing
But there’s no way that I’ll ever forget you.
When you want to speak to me
Just go down on your knee
And ask for me at that yonder altar .
Just call out clear and loud
And I’ll send along a cloud
To whisk away your letters, don’t you falter.
Saying that she flew away
Leaving him to hope and pray
For the day that the Angel would retreat;
But he made the mistake
Of going to the place
And the nooks amidst the cliffs where they would meet.
For every tree he’d see
Contained a memory
Which stabbed and scraped his stomach from inside;
It was too real to ignore
An ache for which there was no cure
An ailment whose symptoms no one can hide.
Everything seems to have changed
Adnan: This is the place and the time we’d meet.
Why don’t the winds still smell as sweet?
Will the trees
Tell me please
Why does everything seem strange?
Why does this hour stab me now?
Why does this place seem like a slough?
Tell me, wit,
Why is it
That everything seems to have changed?
After all those days of bliss
Why this feeling of pointlessness?
Will the trees
Tell me please
Why does everything seem strange?
‘The Princess is not In: Please leave a message’
Mr. K.D. who’d been watching Addy cry,
Smiled from his office up there in the sky;
Said, `It serves him right
For the way he used to slight
All the girls who would meet him on the sly.’
Mr. K.D.: (to himself) Look, I’ve made the macho boy cry
I’ve got him hooked, now I’ll bleed him dry;
’Cause it serves him right
For the way he used to slight
All the girls who would meet him on the sly.
(to the slave)
Actually, dear Addy boy, you ought to rejoice.
That’s because your baby has given you a choice;
I don’t think you can fault her
’Cause she’s given you that altar
From which you can get to hear her voice.
Adnan: (to himself)
Come to think of it, Addy, you ought to rejoice.
That’s because your Angel has given you a choice;
Now, go up to that altar
Call out to her and halt her
In her tracks if she can hear your voice.
Sanober! Sanober! Can you hear me call?
I’m missing you, my baby—and that’s not all
Ever since you flew away
Blew my happiness away
All I do is think of you and bawl.
Female voice:(in the clouds) This is Princess Ameen’s office. May I help you?
Adnan: Sanober! Sanober! Baby is that you?
I’m miserable without you, I’m missing you
Since I don’t know how to fly
Please come down to verify
If my affliction can still be attended to.
Female voice:(in the clouds) The Princess is on the other line. Could you please call later?
Adnan: Sanober! Sanober! Have I hurt you, girl?
Did I do something to offend my pearl?
If I did, then, babe, I swear
Not on water, land or air
Clumsy words at you I’ll ever hurl.
Female voice:(in the clouds) The Princess is out for dinner. Could you call at eleven?
Adnan: Sanober, you know that one was rather cheap
Are you trying to throw me in the rubbish heap?
All you angels there in heaven
Go to bed at sharp eleven
And disconnect the phones before you sleep.
Female voice:(in the clouds) The Princess has instructed me to take a message.
Adnan: Message?
I’m crazy ’bout your Princess, but I’m not insane
I’m madly in love but not mad, that should be plain
I’m the prince of my little swarm
The hottest stud of my farm
And my self-esteem, my girl, I still retain.
Female voice:(in the clouds) Would that be all, sir?
Adnan: No, you can tell her about my friend from the city.
Friends from the city
Adnan: (walking away from the altar)
I had a friend from the city
Very gracious, very pretty
Very charming when she came to our little quarry.
Broke our humble bread with us
Roughed it everywhere with us
Never made us feel inadequate or sorry
But when we went to town
Took us weeks to track her down
After scores of calls to her were not returned;
Then one day she called my inn
When she knew I wouldn’t be in
’Twas a nice lesson in tactics that we learned.
She called us just once more
Maybe she finds me a bore
She did it like a duty, like a chore;
She kept it brief—still I don’t hate her
‘I’ve got to rush, I’ll call you later’
I am still waiting for her to make that call.
Yet not everyone was sad at what was going on
Dania, for one, thought it was poetic justice;
Almost everyone (’cept Hamza and Gohonzon)
Was thrilled to find The Slave reduced to this.
She’s using you
Dania: Well, Mr. Addy,
Are we playing the sugar daddy?
Going bonkers o’er an angel half your ?
Let us be realistic
For that girl will go ballistic
Once she sees you as a human, not a sage.
Can’t you see that she is merely using you?
Can’t you see that she is merely using you?
Adnan: I agree with your conclusion,
Dania, I have no illusion
That an angel and a slave can ever mate;
’Midst her coldness and effusion
Lies the cause of my confusion
Does she love me or do I hallucinate?
I guess you’re right, she’s merely using me.
I think you’re right, she’s merely using me.
No lover is worth a cry
Dania: I can’t bear to watch you sigh
Just for a floozy from the sky
Naive little beau
Don’t you know
That no lover is worth a cry?
Adnan: When she’s here my heart goes thump
When she’s not I am down in a dump
Of all the flesh
That we possess
The heart is the most unreasonable lump.
I wish I had some control
On my thoughts, my passions, my soul
When his bow
Shot me so
Mr. K.D. scored his goal.
Dania:
Aren’t you the one who thought that he
Was too good for women like we?
I’m so glad
You’ve been had
You’ve proved weaker than even I.
You thought you were a breed apart
Cool, emotionless, unruffled, street smart
The toughest of men—
Start shrieking when
Mr.K.D. pricks their delicate heart.
Adnan knew that she spoke the truth
In fact she spoke it much too well;
He knew that he, the toughest of men,
Was helpless under the Angel’s spell.
He also knew that the reason for this
Was K.D.’s bag of cruel little tricks;
K.D. controls
Our hearts and souls
And he gets sadistic kicks.
Shady Mr. K.D.
Adnan: Hey, Mr. K.D.,
Don’t you know that all your shady
Schemes are going to blow up right into your face?
You little sadist
Do I need to have to say this
Shouldn’t you take on people of your size and race?
I am much too small a fry
One of the billions in your sty;
Then why, oh why, did you pick on me?
Perhaps some old gripe to satisfy?
Right at that moment, up there in Angel-land
His anguish was provoking a debate;
Deeba and the girls all spoke out for the Slave
Bick and Butt and K.D. spat out hate.
Deeba: He is much too small a fry
One of the billions in your sty;
Then why, oh why, did you pick on him?
Butt, Bick and K.D: It was an old revenge to satisfy.
Deeba: Shady Mr. K.D.
Won’t you listen to a lady?
Won’t you free him from the spell that you have cast?
Bick: (to K.D.) Don’t give her a tuppence
’Cause this is Adnan’s comeuppance
He has treated women badly in the past.
Mr. K.D.: Lest they say that K.D.
Did not listen to a lady
I think I will try to find the golden mean;
Let’s give him a chance
Help him snap out of his trance
And get over Miz Sanober Ameen.
(calls out to Adnan) Hey, listen, Mister Slave, my name is K.D.
Patron of all lovers– some say I’m shady
Just because my little arrows
Once embedded in their marrows
Will make them pine for their beau or lady.
Adnan: And I am Adnan, the one who’s lonely
Alter ego to the one and only;
If you’re the one creating
All the pain that’s ennervating me
Then kill me all at once, don’t do it slowly.
Mr. K.D.: Now, listen, I’m not offering absolution
I’ll merely try to work out a solution;
Now that the damage’s done
And by Sanober you’ve been won
Shouldn’t we try to sort out this involution?
Adnan: Then speak up, Mr.K.D.
What do you have in mind?
Mr. K.D. : To get you back the heart
Which you had left behind.
Adnan: And help me get over that Angel
And out of this pain?
Mr. K.D. : We’ll put a different set of thoughts
Into your lovesick brain.
Adnan: If that is possible tell me how.
Mr. K.D. : I think it’s time for Lesson One now.
Adnan, Deeba, Bick & Butt: Long live, Mr.K.D.!
Wonder how you got that shady
Little reputation that they hate you for?
Mr. K.D. : (aside) Gullible little kiddies
Don’t they know I’m unforgiving
There’s no slight too petty for me to ignore.
Adnan, Deeba, Bick & Butt: Long live, Mr. K.D.!
Wonder how you got that shady
Little reputation that they hate you for?
Bick and Butt and Deeba
Did not know K.D. was weird;
So they left Addy alone with him
And simply disappeared.
Sublimation: K.D.’s obiter dicta
Mr. K.D. : Isn’t it a pity
Isn’t it a shame
That love can be a power game?
And that’s the first lesson for you, my boy.
Love can be enervating
But love’s intoxicating
It’s the hangover that takes away the joy.
Love is bliss, provided
It’s not merely one-sided;
If it is, one of you must prepare to take
Lots of hurt, humiliation
Loneliness, asphyxiation,
And put up with emptiness and heartache.
Now, Adnan, if I were in your situation
Where I do not get the girl—only pain
And I have no outlets for my frustration
What would I do? Maybe, I’d try—um—sublimation.
That’s right, I’d try sublimation.
Adnan: Sublimation? What’s that?
Mr. K.D. : Um—it works something like this:
You meet this absolute stunner, say, Sanober.
You’re besotted. Your libido’s all charged: you want her.
But you don’t get her. So how do you dis—I mean—defang yourself?
Adnan: If I were a boy scout I’d take a cold shower.
Mr. K.D. : And if you were in Paris you’d jump off the Tower.
But are these solutions?
You get excited, so you go for cold ablutions.
But are these, I ask, solutions?
That old shrink, you know that paranoid
Went by the name Sigmund whatever
Thought that he was bright, awfully clever
Tossed up neurotic theories half-baked, half-freud.
He had the finest way
To deal with such situations;
He’d work off all frustration through
Artistic sublimation.
Adnan: But what is sublimation?
Mr. K.D. : You meet this absolute stunner, say, Sanober.
You’re besotted. Your libido’s all charged: you want her.
But you don’t get her. So how do you, er, defang yourself?
Adnan: The best would be to look for loads of work
And plunge myself right into it.
Mr. K.D. : And if the work’s artistic it might make you smug
And help you get out of your pit.
If you were a manager you’d sweat it off
By working yourself overtime;
If you were a poet you could try to
Compose a fairy tale, all in rhyme.
Or you could write a book
Or even paint a picture;
And if you can’t do anything else—
You could always turn to sculpture.
That, I think, is it. Sculpture.
It’s close to your line, too.
I mean, what’s the difference?
Chopping up rocks—
Or carving a stone or two?
Adnan: So how will that help me
Get her out of my system?
Will it help me cleanse her from my mind?
Mr. K.D. : It will do more than that
For you will carve your passion
Into a lasting gift for humankind.
Adnan: And what if all those rocks of mine
Fail to touch her heart?
Mr. K.D. : At least there is a chance you might
Create a work of art.
Having spoken, Mr. K.D. took wing and flew away
Leaving the Slave to mull over the hints he threw his way.
The Idol
So the Slave picked up the hammer
And the chisel with which he
Would prise out of gigantic rocks
Rubble for a fee.
Today that mallet-wedge would cut
For him the first of a kind
A face in the cliff to help him get
A girl out of his mind.
And as he hacked the mountainside
He hummed himself this song
(And continued to do so
Till Dania came along.)
Adnan: I’ll try to get her out
Of my system, of my mind;
I’ll try to wipe out feelings
That are still left behind.
Dania: But when you know you’re bound to fail
Why do you even try?
One smile from her and you’ll know why
You’re such a helpless guy.
Adnan: Yes, when I know I’m bound to fail
Why do I even try?
One smile from her and I’ll know why
I’m such a helpless guy.
I ask myself part in jest
And part in self-disgusted rage;
What am I doing going bonkers
O’er an angel half my ?
Dania:
And I ask part in plain disgust
And part in a fit of jealous rage;
What are you doing going bonkers
O’er an angel half your ?
Adnan:
She breezed into my life
And spread her fragrance everywhere
And then she breezed out just as fast
And vanished in the air.
She does this every now and then—
Comes when she chooses to—
If she’s the best thing God’s ever made
I have my uses, too.
I dare not see her radiant face
As stunning as the Sun;
As if Ash, Sush, Yuk, Hayden were
All rolled up into one.
I’ll carve into this mighty cliff
The libido pent inside;
And try to sublimate the love
I’m unable to hide.
Before the Rock of Sanober
Rhodes won’t look colossal;
I’ll flesh her out with so much love
The Canyon will seem a fossil.
There is no way this statue can
Evade my angel’s eyes;
You’ll see it from the edge of the world
You’ll see it from the skies.
Dania: (to herself) I know the ones who should be
The first to see your art;
You’ve got employers, don’t forget,
You’re just a slave, upstart.
Ruin and losses
So Dania went to the office block
To look for Adnan’s bosses;
To tell them that his latest fad
Would bring them ruin and losses.
Slave-driver 1:
Dania! What a wonderful surprise!
(pointing to Slave-driver 2)
I thought you were angry with my friend;
His wooing might be somewhat unwise
But he loves you more than you will comprehend.
Dania:
I am not here to talk of love
Least of all to chat up you knaves;
I’ve come here to lodge a protest
Against Adnan, the king of the slaves.
You claim to be slave-drivers
You call yourselves his bosses;
But look the other way when he
Brings you ruin and losses.
Slave-driver 1: He hasn’t been himself of late
Slave-driver 2:
He used to be our best;
Slave-driver 1:
He’s working on a private love
Slave-driver 2:
To get it off his chest.
Slave-driver 1: (to Slave-driver 2)
If Adnan sticks to Sanober
And spurns Dania’s advances;
He does you a favour, my friend,
By improving your chances.
Slave-driver 2: (to Dania)
Don’t get worked up, O fair one,
Just try me out instead;
Adnan belongs to Sanober,
Get him out of your head.
Slave-driver 1:
He hasn’t been himself of late
Slave-driver 2:
He used to be our best;
Slave-driver 1:
He’s working on a private love
Slave-driver 2:
To get it off his chest.
Dania: From the top of the cliff to the bottom
As far as can be seen
He’s carved a thousand foot idol
Of the wretched Sanober Ameen.
This wanton worship of idols
Is the devil’s own behest;
Yet you pretend that our friend
Needs to get things off his chest.
Thus spake Miz Dania before she
Stormed out of the room;
If you would stir up the jungle
Just ruffle the peacock’s plume.
Joining forces with Khair ull
Right then the Girl in the Mountains—
She sensed a scent of gloom
She knew that the jilted Dania
Was plotting our hero’s doom.
Afshi: Down there in the plains, in the quarry
I smell the odour of gloom;
I can see that the jilted Dania
Is plotting our hero’s doom.
Adnan’s not being realistic—
Love is no democrat;
Angels were not designed for slaves
But who can tell him that?
Khair ull might be the one who can
Knock sense into his head;
She could tell him to stop chasing a dream
And settle for what he gets.
She might convince him that one should
Dictates of the heart ignore:
Go in for someone who loves you
Not someone you adore.
It’s true she’s just a slave
But in her own right
Khair ull’s almost a princess
Full of beans, cheerful, bright.
Therefore I need to go down—
Join forces with Khair ull,
To help my friend break free of
The Angel’s gravitational pull.
So, from the Mountains she went down—
Joined forces with Khair ull
To help their friend break free of
The Angel’s gravitational pull.
Afshi: But what is this that I see?
He’s carving stones, not chopping them;
Let me take Khair ull along
And watch Adnan his madness stem.
Adnan’s New Passion
When the girls heard of his passion,
They came to watch him carve;
And held their breath in awe
Of a vision so suave.
Afshi:
Have you seen Adnan’s new passion?
Khair ull:
Let’s go and watch him carve;
Afshi:
It takes away your breath to see
Afshi and Khair ull:
A vision so suave.
Afshi:
From the top of the cliff to the bottom
As far as can be seen
He’s carved a thousand-foot idol
Of the lovely Sanober Ameen.
Floored by Adnan’s creation
Overwhelmed by what they saw
The girls stared at the idol
Filled with envy and awe.
Khair ull:
Before the Rock of Sanober
Ol’ Rhodes looks less colossal;
He’s fleshed her out with so much love
That the Canyon seems a fossil.
Afshi:
There is no way that the statue can
Evade his angel’s eyes;
Khair ull:
You can see it from the edge of the world
You can see it from the skies.
I wish I had the love of a man
With a vision half as grand;
Who could dwarf the Sun-god Helios
Make the Canyon seem less Grand.
Afshi:
If only Sanober, silly girl,
Knew how to judge a man;
He would not have to work so hard
In order to win her hand.
It’s true he’s just a slave and she
An angel from the skies;
But even angels are not thus
Worshipped in paradise.
The view from the skies
There was no way that the statue could
Have missed the angels’ eyes;
You could see it from the edge of the world
You could see it from the skies.
There was a buzz in Angel-land—
Deeba, for one, was thrilled—
But Bick and Butt and K.D. were
By Adnan’s artwork chilled.
Deeba:
Princess, come ’n see what he has done
Your lover with passions perverse—
He’s made an idol of you that
Can be seen all through the Universe.
Sanober rushed to the edge of the clouds
For a view of the planet below;
But when she saw herself in stone
Her face broke into a glow.
Sanober: It’s nice!
Deeba: Is that all you have to you say,
O girl with the sparkling eyes?
He’s worked for months to carve that stone
And all you say is ‘Nice!’
He lays his heart down at your feet
And all you say is ‘Nice!’
Sanober: It’s really nice!
Deeba:
Sanober, silly girl, if only you
Knew how a man to judge;
He would not have to sacrifice
So much to win your love.
It’s true he’s just a slave and you
An angel from the skies;
But even angels are not thus
Worshipped in paradise.
At least his art has melted you—
Brought a smile to your lip;
If a man can make a woman laugh
He has her in his grip.
Meanwhile, in the quarry we know so well
Adnan was an overwrought loon;
He decided to break the vow he’d made—
‘Never pray for a carnal boon.’
He knelt on his knees as he lifted
His hands towards the sky;
And chanted the mantra given to him
At the sacred Soka Gakkai.
Gohonzon and the Law of Cause and Effect
Adnan: Gohonzon, I devote my life
To the law of effect and cause;
You grant anything to those who obey
Your eternal laws.
I’d sworn I’d never ask you for
Anything, Gohonzon;
Except that the lives of the ones I love
Should just go on and on.
And now I’m reduced to begging for
The most carnal of things;
For a touch of the lips of the angel who
Controls my moods, my swings.
They say we can ask for anything—
And you never refuse;
I beg for a word from the girl I love—
My madness to defuse.
I want to be told that she thinks of me
I just want to hear her voice;
Of course, I’d love to see her, too—
But do I have a choice?
Gohonzon, monarch of the East,
Of the West and everywhere
Took pity on the Slave and placed him
In Hamza ’n Sanober’s care.
Therefore, old Hamza decided
To send a mission to Earth;
To understand the ways of men—
Some secrets to unearth.
Of all the angels that he knew
Of the girls he’d seen;
None fit the bill so aptly as
The gorgeous Sanober Ameen.
The Mission
Hamza: (to Sanober) That slave has a mission down there on Earth
By day he chops up rocks;
By night he tries to study the ways
Of the Shepherds and their flocks.
As he studied the prophets and deities
He noticed that they were the same;
That the Lord’d sent every land a book
But merely changed its name.
Through his songs, his actions, his prose he’s been
Attacking the walls that Lucifer built;
It’s important for us here in Angel-land
To support the Slave to the hilt.
Of all the angels that I know
Of all the girls I’ve seen;
None can do this as well as
Can the dexterous Sanober Ameen.
Sanober: Gohonzon has convinced me, too.
He’s made me understand,
That in the Slave-boy’s noble quest
I should be his right-hand.
I am honoured that you think I can
Pull off this delicate task;
Right now to visit that quarry below
Is all that I can ask.
’Twas then that the slave heard his name
Being called out from the skies;
‘O Slave!’ said the voice he yearned to hear
‘That sculpture is truly nice.’
‘Nice’
Sanober: I’m sent to learn from you, O Slave,
Secrets that have no price;
But the sculpture that you have carved of me,
Must say it’s truly nice.
Adnan: I carved it to get you out of my head—
From my system to excise;
And I put in it all my passion, my love
For whatever it’s worth—
Sanober:(rolling her widened, smiling eyes) —It’s nice!
Adnan: I poured in every emotion I have
I used up every device;
But all I get as reward for my work
Is a sweetly spoken — ‘Nice’.
Sanober knew that the man was gone
So she let him hold her hand;
But he bent over and kis’t her cheek
(This action had not been planned).
Adnan: O, thank you, Angel from the Skies,
Holding hands with you is bliss;
But if my art does touch your heart
What I’d really like is a .
A for every song I make—
And if it isn’t perverse—
A for every stone I carve
A for every verse.
If not your lips then let me wet
The corners of your mouth;
And if you feel I deserve a meal—
Then regions further south.
And I will drive you mad with love
O Angel from the Skies
The day when I will get to k
The spot between your .
Embarrassed, Sanober looked away
At this outpouring of emotion;
Since she could not fly away from him
She decided to change the motion.
There’s no point in raking up the past
Sanober: Why didn’t you call when I was away?
Why didn’t you write to me?
Every girl away from home
Wants to know she’s not alone
Where are the songs you’d recite to me?
Adnan: Now this is too much, my angel
I wore out my knees at your altar;
And wore out my fingers writing letters to you
Yet I am being called the defaulter .
I left message on message for you
But never received a reply.
Sanober: I am much too busy to write out letters
Though I could scratch a ‘hello’ or a ‘hi’.
And the messages that you say you left
I must’ve been away or thing—
Or maybe my secretary bungled things up
You know how these servants can sting.
Adnan: Why didn’t you call when you were away?
Why didn’t you write to me?
Every man whose girl’s away
Wants to hear her every day
Why were you impolite with me?
Sanober: There is no point in raking up the past
Let’s talk of something nice;
Hamza says that you possess
Secrets that have no price.
Adnan: I have from my father and his father before
This tiny piece of stone;
If you hold it straight it says ‘Allah’
If you turn it to the left it’s ‘Om’.
Held another way it’s ‘Ek Onkar’
And that’s the point I am making;
The Lord is the same
No matter what name
His devotees might happen to be taking.
Here you see an Arabic sign
Which says that a sound’s been twinned;
But it also is the trident of
Shiva, the deity of Hind.
Sanober: You’ve made so many copies of this stone;
Do you even know how many you own?
But continue, you were talking of
How ‘Allah’ can be read as ‘Om’.
Adnan: The problem with us down here on Earth
Is we want excuses to fight
We give the same Lord different names
And claim we alone are right.
If I can in the years I have
Make my brothers and sisters believe
That your God is the same as mine
My mission I would achieve.
Sanober: And in this noble task of yours
I will be your Right Hand;
To tell all men that God is one
That hatred should be banned.
And that’s when K.D.’s final arrow
Sailed right through Addy’s tit;
He was so filled with ecstasy
That he knew not he had been hit.
Adnan: (to himself) Gohonzon, this is too good to be true
Nicer than my nicest plan;
The prettiest angel in the universe
Offers to be my Right Hand.
O God, is this really happening?
Or is this merely a dream?
My task would become a pleasure
With an angel like she on my team.
(to Sanober) When we talk of The Truth we begin
By learning that it is a sin
To believe that there is any God but God
Or there can be anyone akin.
Now, Sanober was nice as angels go
But she was quite easily bored;
She did not want to be stuck with books
With life waiting there to be explored.
Sanober: Do we have to study all this today?
Can’t we talk of other things instead?
How do you guys here on Earth have fun?
What goes on in an Earthling’s head?
Adnan: (to himself) The angel is not a hypocrite
And that much one must hand her;
Of the many reasons why I love her so
At the top is her guileless candour.
In fact some day I must get down
To drawing up a list
Of all the things that make this girl
So difficult to resist.
Changes
So, while the Slave toted up lists
And kissed the ground the Angel had trod,
His employers the slave-drivers
Found his new-found behaviour odd.
Slave-driver 1:
I think we should ask the Angel
Slave-driver 2:
To stay on Earth forever;
Slave-driver 1:
Improves Adnan’s productivity
Slave-driver 2:
She heightens his endeavour.
Slave-driver 1: Ever since the girl’s been here
Slave-driver 2: He’s even learnt to shave;
Slave-driver 1: He’s got himself colognes and thing
Slave-driver 2: His clothes—they now behave.
Slave-driver 1:
And best of all he’s given up
Slave-driver 2:
His wanton bachelor way
Slave-driver 1:
He no longer stays up all night
Slave-driver 2:
Nor irritable by day.
Slave-driver 1: In fact he even whistles
When he chops up all those rocks
Slave-driver 2: He’s stopped doodling with twigs on the ground
Since he started chasing frocks.
Slave-driver 1: He’s worried about the way he looks
Slave-driver 2: Though still not immaculate
Slave-driver 1: He doesn’t eat as much as he did
Slave-driver 2: He’s cut down on chocolate.
Slave-driver 1:
The most important change—
I wonder if you’ve noticed-
He no longer goes on about
His brother across the sea;
Slave-driver 2: He loves him so, his eyes would flow
When he would speak of him;
But now it seems his passions
Have found a new lessee.
Slave-driver 1: If I can guess what’s going on
Inside that head of his
He’s been having imaginary
Conversations with her
Slave-driver 2: She’s good for us for she’s improved
His productivity
She should stay on forever—
This Angel called Sanober.
If Adnan sticks to Sanober
And spurns Dania’s advances;
He does me a massive favour,
By improving my chances.
The Angel must soon be gone
Just then inside the quarry
On a tiny patch of lawn
The Angel was telling the Slave
That soon she must be gone.
Sanober: I’ve been here almost twenty days
Got what I’d come here for;
But soon, O Slave, I must be gone
Till I need to come for more.
Adnan: (to himself) She’s been here almost twenty days
The happiest that I’ve known;
But soon my angel must be gone
Leaving me all alone.
She’s been with me for twenty days
I’ve still not wet her mouth;
If I continue at this rate
I won’t get further south.
So he cupped his hands on angelic cheeks
So that his lips could lance her;
And said with firmness foreign to him,
“I won’t take ‘No’ for an answer.”
Adnan: I am going to be shattered when you are gone
Like a partnerless ballroom dancer;
At least tonight let me moisten those lips
For I won’t take ‘No’ for an answer.
She let him linger for a while
And then pushed him away
Was she slighted?
Or simply delighted?
He still doesn’t know to this day.
He only knows that she spoke for a while
Now lost in thought
Now trying to smile
And then she looked away from him, took wing to fly away.
And when she was about to fly
God knows what got into him;
For he blurted out what he never thought
He’d even tell seraphim.
Adnan: I love you, my baby, I’ll miss you,
My love grows incremental;
Sanober: (to herself) How do I handle this lovesick fool?
He’s getting sentimental.
When he told her that he loved her
She smiled and flew away
He still doesn’t know what to make of that smile—
Triumphant? Smug? Blasé?
And when she was gone, the emptiness
Hit him like a blow in the gut;
The joy of her presence was an aberration,
Reality was stuck in a rut.
Could This Be Love?
Adnan:
When she’s gone and chooses to stay out of touch
(Out of my clutch)
Surrounds herself with walls
(Because she can build them)[i]
Lets you down with friends and family
(For she
I get wild, I swear I’ll leave her for good
(Wish I could)
Dania:
For then she’ll be back and all she has to do
Is flash a smile and you’ll go cuckoo
Adnan:
And all the arguments that I had rehearsed
Just melt away, so could this be love?
Could this be love?
I know I ought to have more control
(Get what she stole)
I thought I was much too tough to flip
(Explain this slip)
But then she’ll be back and all she has to do
Is flash a smile and I’ll go cuckoo
And all the arguments that I had rehearsed
Just melt away, so could this be love?
Could this be love?
Why do I love her? Let me count the reasons.
That night the Slave went over to
The sculpture of the girl
And began to count the reasons why
He was obsessed with her.
Adnan: Now, why do I love her?
Let me count the reasons.
For one, her smile is fresh like the spring
And won’t stale with the seasons.
Yes, at the top of my list is
The freshness of her smile;
And close behind what blows my mind,
Is her uncomplicated style.
And then there is the way she has
Of making me feel so clever;
When she told me that she liked my voice
She made me her slave forever.
And she made me feel so special
By saying that I must be
One of the few who’d got her name
As it was designed to be.
And she got me dreaming by offering
To be by my right hand;
For I began to fit my Angel
Into everything I’d planned.
Yes, she understands
All the things I have planned
And the things that I leave unsaid;
Yes, that is why
Everywhere I fly
I keep her in my head.
Very high on my list of reasons
Are her eager, sparkling eyes;
Conspiring with me from behind her pappy
Propelling me to paradise.
I’ve seen so many beautiful girls
And some of them have brains with a buzz;
But none conveys excitement
Through her eyes the way she does.
An angel as spontaneous
As she hasn’t been sighted;
Who lets on that she loves junk food
And thrills get her excited.
Tel me then is it possible
Not to adore such a pearl—
Who has the beauty of a woman
The freshness of a girl.
And then those juicy lips of hers
Look so dashed incredible;
Because methinks that my love for her
At root is really chemical.
Though she tries to deny to me
The headiest of all trips;
I have grown addicted to the
Moisture of her lips.
They rest on cushioned petals
They’re laced with heady potions;
These days the juices of her lips
Control all my emotions.
And, Sanober, there is a twelfth
Reason for me to love you;
I guess that it is understood
You’re awesome looking, too.
Since it is forbidden to
Worship anyone but God;
Sanober, I’ll have to settle for
The ground that you have trod.
Creating a Work of Art
Clumsy though his verses were
You could hear them everywhere;
As did the slave-girls and Afshi
Who could fathom his despair.
The moon, it lit the quarry
The moon shone on his face
And in his eyes Afshi could see
Feelings he couldn’t displace.
Afshi:
Does she know that day and night
You’ve been thinking just of her?
Does she know that you keep chanting
`Sanober! Sanober!’
Khair ull:
Does she know that you neglect your work
And stay up every night
Carving her face on all the rocks
That your love can ignite?
Dania:
If you are so besotted
With this angel called Sanober
Why don’t you go and tell her
Of this epic love of yours?
Adnan: I’ve tried, but she flips the topic
Every time I try to tell her;
Or she clams up and looks away
As if my words repel her.
Sometimes she looks embarrassed
Sometimes she merely smiles;
I fear that she feels harassed
By my clumsy ways and styles.
Dania: If you call yourself a lover
If you call yourself a man;
How think you’ll say you love her
Have you worked out a plan?
Adnan: I’ll carve into the mountains
Massive images of my queen;
And make every rock in the Valley
Cry ‘Sanober Ameen!’
I’ll make every song ever written
Sing out my love for her;
Till the angelface comes down and tells me
Where I stand with her.
Dania: What if even your sculptures
Fail to touch her heart?
Adnan: At least there’s a chance that I might have
Created a work of art.
It’s easier to please the Lord
Afshi and Khair ull left the scene
Leaving the two alone;
So, Dania filled the Slave-boy with
Doubts he’d never known.
Dania (to Adnan): If you’d loved the Lord the way you pine for that girl
If you’d spent this time thinking of Him,
If instead of idols that no one will revere
If instead of love songs she does not want to hear
You had used your skills to write a hymn
At least the Lord would have been pleased with you.
It’s easier to please the Lord than lovers
With Him at least you know where you stand
With Him you know you’ll make it
If you obey the rules
But lovers are creatures no one can understand.
Such devotion for the Lord
And they’d have canonised you
Ranking you up there with Buonarroti and Leonardo;
Worshipping a girl, O Slave,
Has merely paganized you
If they remember you it would be for misplaced bravado.
You bared your heart to her
Was she impressed?
Had you done this for the Lord
You would have been blessed.
Adnan: Conceded.
Your hypothesis need not be buttressed.
Yes, it’s easier to please the Lord than lovers
With Him at least you know where you stand
With Him you know you’ll make it
If you obey the rules
But lovers are creatures no one can understand.
Dania and Adnan:
It’s easier to please the Lord than lovers
With Him at least you know where you stand
With Him you know you’ll make it
If you obey the rules
But lovers are creatures no one can understand.
Applying for a Sabbatical
The first thing he needed to do
To make his dreams come true
Was to take time off his job—
For a year, maybe two.
So, he went to the quarry to look
For his favourite slave-drivers
And found them counting the loot of the day—
In coins and tenners and fivers.
Adnan: There’s a time in everybody’s life
To review the years and take stock;
When you say to yourself that surely
There’s more to life than chopping rocks.
It is not as if I’m unhappy
It is not as if I’m sorry;
O Slave-drivers, it’s been a pleasure
To have sweated it out in your quarry.
But I need to ensure that life is not
Simply passing me by;
There are many things I still want to do—
So, I've come to say goodbye.
Slave-driver 1:
Your problem is you get emotional
Slave-driver 2:
You should learn to be a little more practical.
Slave-driver 1:
Why must it be a parting of ways?
Slave-driver 2:
Can’t it be a—a sabbatical?
Adnan: Call the arrangement what you will
Right now I need to go;
I’ve got to get things out of my head
Through the only craft I know.
I’ll carve into the mountains
Massive images of my queen;
And make every rock in the Valley cry,
‘Sanober Ameen!’
Slave-driver 1:
It’s nice to be in love, my boy
Slave-driver 2:
But how will you pay your bills?
Slave-driver 1:
Why should you be starving when you
Slave-driver 2:
Could be raking it in with your skills?
Adnan: Between food for my body
And her nourishing my heart
I must but choose the latter
Or my soul will come apart.
If she leaves my mind for more than
Fifteen minutes at a time,
My cerebellum jumps out of my head
To ask her, ‘What’s my crime?’
Slave-driver 1:
If you need time off to think of her
Slave-driver 2:
Do it in alternate hours.
Slave-driver 1:
We’ll give you the authority
Slave-driver 2:
We’ll give you all the powers.
Adnan: I can’t be fair to my day job
And also think of her;
Thinking of the one I love
Is a full time job, good sir.
And having said that, Adnan
Salaamed his bosses and left;
Lovers whom K.D. has driven mad
Are of prudence and logic bereft.
Slave-driver 2:
There is no point in stopping him
The man’s absolutely fanatical;
Slave-driver 1:
But the stone chips will keep pouring in
Even while he’s on sabbatical.
While he buggers up the mountainside
With images of his love,
Send a slave to scour the ground for chips
When he’s hacking away above.
Slave-driver 2:
If it takes an extended sabbatical
To get rid of that sore,
Grant it, so that he gets out of here
Away from the one I adore.
The song of the wounded rocks
Curious to know what Addy was upto
And to give him his lunch an’ canteen,
Khair ull, the slave, scanned the canyon cliff to cliff
All the places where her hero might have been.
Khair ull:
Adnan! Adnan! Where are you my prince?
Has anyone seen my man?
Cliff 1: If he is the one chopping us into mince
Stuff him in the nearest bedpan.
Cliff 2: So what does he look like—this man of yours?
Try to describe him if you can.
Khair ull:
His abs are like rocks, he’s brown, brawny, tanned.
Cliff 2:
The one with triceps, but no brain?
Cliff 1:
The loon who carves pretty faces on us?
Cliff 2:
The psycho who’s been causing us pain?
Cliff 1:
He has a look that’s positively manic
Cliff 2:
When he comes in with hammer and chisel
Cliff 1:
We rocks break into a panic.
Khair ull: He’s tall, he’s regal, sultanic.
Cliff 2: The one who thinks his vision is titanic?
Khair ull: He’s sweet, though his temper’s volcanic
Cliff 1: His hammer and chisel are satanic.
Cliff 2:
If he’s got problems with some girl
Cliff 1:
Why take it out on us?
Cliff 2:
Everyone goes through heartbreak but
Cliff 1:
They don’t make such a fuss.
Cliff 2:
They don’t march down to the nearest cliff
Cliff 1:
And beat it black and blue
Cliff 2:
And still expect it to like him
Cliff 1:
You wouldn’t do that, would you?
Khair ull: Please tell me! Please tell me! Where is my prince?
Guide me to the man I adore.
Cliff 2:
Why don’t you try Richard down the corner there?
Cliff 1:
He used to be a cliff—
Cliff 2:
Not any more.
Cliff 1:
Ever since that loony
Cliff 2:
Chipped our souls away from us
Cliff 1:
Brother Clifford’s been feeling sore.
The Scales/ ‘Carve me on that cliff’
So, Khair ull went to Richard down the corner
Put balm on Clifford’s open wounds and sore,
She sighted what the slave had carved on Clifford and Rick
And was fairly impressed by what she saw.
Khair ull:
Dania! Afshi! Come here, and quick!
See what Adnan is making!
(wistfully)
I wish I had a lover whose
Vision was as breathtaking.
Afshi and Dania went to the cliff
Where gigantic scales had been etched;
The heavy pan was empty, but on the lighter one
The beauties of the world had been sketched.
Khair ull:
There’s a buzz throughout the Human world
Dania:
Excitement in the quarry
Khair ull:
Adnan’s creating the highest tribute
A lover can pay his amoré.
Dania:
He’s carved gigantic balances
Afshi:
An enormous weighing scale
Khair ull:
On one pan all the beauties of the world
Afshi:
On the other, perhaps, that female.
Dania:
But why is that pan still empty?
Khair ull:
Must be an artistic whim.
Afshi:
It’s vacant because his model
Dania:
Doesn’t have time for him.
The Scales
Afshi:
That looks like Ash!
Khair ull:
And that like Sush!
Afshi:
That must be Reita Faria!
Khair ull:
That’s Diana H!
Afshi:
That’s Yukta’s sketch!
Khair ull:
That must be Une Dos Maria!
Afshi:
But the pan on which he plans to carve
Khair ull:
The idol of his maiden
Afshi:
Is heavier than the one on which
Khair ull:
Sit Ash, Sush, Lara and Hayden.
Afshi:
What a stunning compliment he plans to pay!
Khair ull:
Just grasp the implication—
Both:
He is saying that Sanober Ameen
Is the most beautiful in the nation.
He’s saying that she is better than
All beauty queens put together;
Afshi:
If my lover was as much in love with me
I’d gladly wear his tether.
Khair ull:
I wish I had a boyfriend with
A vision half as romantic;
Who’d say that I was better than
Beauty queens either side of the Atlantic.
Dania:
That’s because you have grey matter
Out there in your uppermost storey;
But the object of Addy’s affections
Has no time to visit our quarry.
He’s begging her to sit for him
For a few sessions intensive;
But instead of modelling for him
The Angel’s been acting expensive.
That is why the heavier pan
Is destined to be unfilled;
He thinks I’m not good enough for it
While she is too dumb to be thrilled.
Khair ull! Afshi! He needs to be kicked
For accepting such heartache;
Afshi:
That woman has no time for him
But the hint he will not take.
Khair ull:
Dania, my girl, you need to be kind
To hearts that have been aching;
I wish I had a lover whose
Vision was as breathtaking.
Dania:
If she is too dumb or precious
I will model for the man;
Khair ull:
If only he’d sculpt my likeness
Atop that empty pan.
Dania:
If he would only etch me there
Ranking me above those beauties;
Khair ull:
I’ll sit for him as long as he wants
Neglecting my other duties.
Adnan! Adnan! Carve me on that cliff!
Make an idol of me!
Dania:
Tell the whole world
I’m the fairest of the girls
I’m certainly better than she.
Khair ull:
Adnan! Adnan! I’ll be your slave!
Make an idol of me!
Let’s show all the girls
Dania:
I’m the fairest in the world
I’m certainly better than she.
Bonkers
Adnan’s art was so massive that
You could see it from Angel-land,
But this time even Deeba was
Left cold by a vision so grand.
Deeba:
Princess, your lover’s gone bonkers
See what he’s doing this time.
Sanober:
Carving an idol of me, I suppose,
He seems to be flush with time.
Deeba:
But why should those rocks have to suffer
Why should they be beaten black and blue?
Sanober:
Because he’s a working class duffer
And there’s nothing else he can do.
Deeba:
It’s clear he’s going through a lot of pain
He’s hopelessly in love with you.
Just once or twice in a millennium
Does a man thus his love proclaim
And build monuments to the one he loves
Like that Mughal—what was his name?
Most of us would overlook major flaws
For a love so pure, so intense
A love so transparent that it’s almost crude
A love so shorn of pretence.
Sanober:
But when did I ask for any of this—
Purity, intensity?
I don’t want relationships that might suffocate
I want fun, not responsibility.
Acting expensive
Adnan returned to the cliff where his final
Creation stood yearning for his coddle;
Where the empty throne
Of the angel who had flown
Dejectedly awaited its model.
He’d brought along, the altar and the song
With which he would speak to his love;
He went down on his knees,
And begged the winds, the breeze
To waft his words to the heavens above.
Adnan: Sanober! Sanober!
I need your time
I need you to sit for me.
To help me create
Icons that radiate
Your beauty, your wit for me.
Far from the canyon, back in the quarry
Even Khair ull could hear him cry;
Sorry for her friend, wanting his pain to end
She yelled out to Sanober in the sky.
Khair ull:
It’s the highest tribute
A man can execute
To show the world his lover is the best;
(to Adnan)
Carve me on that stone
Put me on that throne
For clearly the Angel’s not impressed.
Sanober sauntered to the edge of the clouds
To speak to her admirer below;
She tried to be polite, but still she could not hide
That she had no time for her beau.
Sanober: I thank you, O Slave
For wanting to engrave
My likeness upon that cliff.
The concept is cool
But right now my schedule
Happens to be rather stiff.
Day turned into night
And night back to day
But Adnan kept kneeling at the altar;
It always was the same
Message for his old flame
For Adnan would not waver or falter.
Khair ull: (in the quarry/ background)
The days turn to night
And nights back to day
But Adnan’s always kneeling at the altar;
It always is the same
Message for his old flame
For Adnan does not waver or falter.
Adnan: Sanober! Sanober!
How are you placed?
I need you to model for me.
Sanober: I have a bad hair day tonight
And I don’t want to look a fright
As you carve that swaddle for me.
It went on like this
The Slave would never miss
A chance to beg her for a sitting;
While she never actually said ‘No’
We would have our readers know
Her evasions were equally unremitting.
Khair ull: (in the quarry/ background)
It’s been going on like this
The Slave will never miss
A chance to beg her for a sitting;
While she never actually says ‘No’
I’ll have all lovers know
Her evasions are equally unremitting.
Curtains on the final act
Adnan:
Something says I’ll never see my angel again
Those were the curtains on the final act;
Something says she never saw me as a friend
To her I was only a useful contact.
When I told her that I loved her
She merely smiled and flew away;
Does she know what effort it took
To get those words out of the way?
I know she’s not the girl for me
Nor does she want to be mine;
She’s got a world where I don’t belong
And yet she clogs my mind.
I chisel every evening to prove to the world
She’s the fairest angel ever born;
But the Princess has neither the time nor the will
That empty throne to adorn.
Now, Dania had this great instinct
She knew just when to strike,
Just when to twist the knife and when
To grab a mind and psych.
Dania: Something says you’ll never see your angel again
Those were the curtains on the final act;
Something says she never saw you as a friend
To her you were only a useful contact.
A love not meant to be
Dania: Everyone but you can see
That no time for you has she
Your love was not meant to be.
You’re getting nowhere
She doesn’t need you.
Adnan: Even I can see clearly
That she has no time for me
Our love was not meant to be.
I’m getting nowhere
She doesn’t need me.
Dania: What do you plan to do about it—
Sit and feel sorry for yourself?
You—a leader of men—
Pining for that hen
You ought to get a grip on yourself.
You’re getting nowhere
She doesn’t need you.
Adnan: I tried sculpture and sublimation—
Couldn’t get her out of my head;
I used to think I was tough
She’s called my bluff
That’s how deep the ailment has spread.
I’m getting nowhere
She doesn’t need me.
Dania: Don’t you know that this thing called the rebound
Is the finest cure ever found
When your heart needs repair
I’ll always be there
To turn all your sorrows around.
You’re getting nowhere
She doesn’t need you.
Adnan: So, how does this rebound thing do its job?
Dania: You need a girl who’ll make your heart throb
Who’ll take your mind off that cow
Wipe your moistened brow
And make you feel like a nabob.
You’re getting nowhere
At least I need you.
Promises and hearts
Adnan: Even I can see clearly
That she has no time for me
Our love was not meant to be.
I’m getting nowhere
She doesn’t need me.
Having planted her suggestion,
Miz Dania left the quarry;
Meanwhile in Angel-land
Lovely Deeba plotted, planned
The kindest possible resolution of our story.
Deeba:
Sanober! Sanober! Don’t be so cruel
Put the man out of his pain.
Reject him if you will
But do it with some skill
Slowly. In instalments. Be humane.
Sanober:
What about Dania? Was he skilful?
Did he ever think of her pain?
Deeba:
We don’t know enough about Dania
Or why he treats her with disdain.
I only know that Adnan loves you more than
Anyone ever in history,
Turn him down but speak to him, Sanober,
Get him out of his misery.
The slave was back at the altar
From where he would speak to his love;
He was down on his knees,
As he begged the winds, the breeze
To waft his words to the heavens above.
Adnan: Sanober! Sanober! Where have you been?
Sanober: Around.
Adnan: Sanober! It’s ages since you’ve been seen.
Sanober: Perhaps.
Adnan: Sanober! Sanober! We’ve been out of touch so long…
Sanober: Not my fault.
Adnan: But I’ve been serenading you through verse, sculpture and song.
Sanober: Have you?
Adnan: Surely you’ve seen the beauty queens, the weighing scales format?
Sanober: Oh, that?
Adnan: It took me months to make but you dismiss it with ‘Oh, that?’
Sanober: Drat!
Adnan: Sanober! Sanober! Did I misapprehend…?
Sanober: What?
Adnan: Our friendship, Sanober—I thought we were friends.
Sanober: Aren’t we?
Adnan: Sanober! Sanober! I can not comprehend…
Sanober: Listen, I’m getting late, I’ve got to go
I must rush, but I’ll call you tomorrow.
As she said those words, the princess,
Got up and left her throne
Rekindling insecurities
To which Adnan was prone.
Adnan: Did she really have to go or is she
Trying to brush me off?
I do not know what to believe
Nor even what to scoff.
But if she calls tomorrow
I will come out of my trough.
The morrow came and went but she
Naturally did not call,
So, Addy swallowed his pride once more
Went down on his knees and bawled.
Adnan: The morrow’s come and gone but she
Naturally did not call,
So, I must swallow my pride once more
Go down on my knees and bawl.
Adnan: Sanober! Sanober! Why don’t you talk?
Sanober: I have nothing to say.
Adnan: But it was not like this before.
Sanober: I guess I’m just a bore.
Adnan: You—a bore? You have the most
Exciting eyes invented.
Perhaps your spontaneity has
To others been presented.
Sanober: Perhaps.
Adnan: Sanober, surely you haven’t forgotten the times…
Sanober: The doorbell, I think it is! I think I hear chimes.
I’m getting late, I’ve got to go
I must rush, we’ll talk tomorrow.
It was obvious by now
Even to lovesick fools
That the Angel wanted out
But was following the rules.
Adnan: My angel have you forgotten
The things that we had planned?
Sanober heard the slave all right
But chose not to reply.
Adnan: You had yourself offered to be
My anchor, my Right Hand.
The angel tried to look away
As she prepared to fly;
She did not speak, she could not look
Our hero in the eye.
Adnan: She’s flown away leaving all my
Appeals and pleas unheard;
I wish I had not placed so much
Reliance on her word.
I wish I had not fallen for
The words that she had spoken;
I wish I knew that promises,
Like hearts, are meant to be broken.
No Matter Whatsoever
The slave would have gone on like that
And whined his woes away;
Until Afshi, the mountain girl,
Came to brighten his day.
Afshi:
When you’re feeling cheated
Rejected, defeated
When your mind is overcome with gloom;
What you need is love and care
Someone to caress your hair
Dania:(enters, sniffing disapprovingly) You need to freshen up this room.
You need something like this perfume.
I’ve brought you some magic oil
Take a drop and make it boil
And then watch it spread its perfume.
Afshi:
Cheer up! It won’t be bad forever.
Happiness will kiss your feet, however,
You’ve got to decide
To take things in your stride
And keep smiling, no matter whatsoever.
Adnan: (to himself) Mmm! This oil is magical
It can melt an icicle
Surely it will thaw my angel queen;
I’ll use it when the music
Is soft, the lights are soothing
And I am wooing Sanober Ameen.
Afshi: When you’re feeling cheated,
Rejected, defeated,
When the world leaves you feeling broke;
When you’re on a sloping graph
What you need to do is laugh
Tell or hear a cheerful joke.
See, what I’ve managed to get
Straight out of the Internet
On this sheaf is all the latest merriment.
Cheer up! Be firm in your endeavour
And success will kiss your feet, however,
You’ve got to decide
To take things in your stride
And keep smiling, no matter whatsoever.
Dania brought some perfume
Afshi made him smile;
Now it was time for both to go
And leave him for the while.
Adnan: Hey! These jokes have class and style
They could make a Nazi smile
Surely they will curl my angel’s lip.
I’ll give my love this monograph
If I can make my angel laugh
I will have her firmly in my grip.
Lobbying for Adnan
Just then up there in Angel-land
Deeba was trying to darn—
Repair a worn relationship,
Lobbying for Adnan.
Deeba: How can you let him suffer like that?
You got him into this condition;
Now either you pull out your arrows or let
His passions reach their fruition.
Mr. K.D.: Mr. K.D. doesn’t refuse
Angels as pretty as you;
If I pull him out of his blues
You’ll owe me a favour or two.
Deeba: Just bring him to Angel-land for a cruise
Unite him with Sanober;
Mr. K.D.: I’ll bring him to Angel-land when you choose
The rest is up to him—and her.
Excitedly Deeba looked for Sanober
To give her what she thought was news—
That Mr. K.D. had agreed
To reunite poet and muse.
Deeba: Sanober! Sanober! I have news!
At last Mr. K.D.’s agreed
To unite the poet with his muse
And bring him here on a flying steed.
Mr. K.D.: (to himself) Deeba, naïve girl, I too have news—
Mr. K.D.’s merely agreed
To let the Slave glimpse the Angel and
Then make his tender ventricles bleed.
Deeba: Sanober! Sanober! I have news!
At last Mr. K.D.’s agreed
To unite the poet with his muse
And bring him here on a flying steed.
Sanober: Poet? Muse? Surely not that slave?
The Slave is not news, he’s history;
Deeba, my friend, I am not amused;
You shouldn’t prolong his misery.
Or get me further confused.
Deeba: I have no rights, but you a duty
To the man whose heart you’ve bruised.
Sanober: It’s hardly as if I led him on
And then his affections abused.
In any case whenever he calls me
I wonder what we’ll talk about;
There’s nothing left for me to say
To that artless, mannerless lout.
He’s okay in his quarry
But here he’s out of place;
Surely a slave can’t blend in with
Our class, our race.
Deeba: And yet can you blame him, O Princess,
If he feels he has been used?
He’s hopelessly in love, O angel,
And he suffers silently.
Sanober: Surely I am not responsible
Who asked him to fall in love with me?
I never asked him to fall in love with me
Sanober: I never asked him to fall in love with me
I never asked him to go out of his mind;
I merely smiled at him and he thought it was love
That’s not encouragement—no matter how defined.
That he should like my lips is comprehensible
That’s been the fate of all the guys who’d come before;
But if they drive him mad I’m not responsible
Or should I cover them with a frown on my jaw?
Mr. K.D.’s Arrows
Back in the canyon even Addy
Did not know why he was in love
With an angel who was indifferent—
Was it caused by arrows from above?
Adnan: Why am I so obsessed with
An angel who doesn’t care for me?
Could it be that some tormentor
Had planned this affair for me?
Addy yelled at the skies for Mr. K.D.
To give him some kind of explanation;
And Mr. K.D. came down from the clouds
Delighted at Addy’s consternation.
Adnan: Mr. K.D., your arrows
When you pull them out of the quiver
Is there a method in how you let them fly
Or do you randomly deliver?
And when you shoot those poisoned darts
Do you try to launch them in twos?
Or do you grab handfuls and throw them about
To bruise any heart that they choose?
Then you leave it to lovers to look for
The person the other arrow struck;
It could take them a lifetime—if ever—
Of painful mismatches and muck.
Mr. K.D.: Mr. Addy, your whining,
I can’t understand your squeals;
Why is it unfair
When Sanober doesn’t care?
What about the pain Dania feels?
Adnan:
Is all this part of some grand design
Or are these childish, impromptu tricks?
It causes us much anguish and pain
I hope at least you’re getting your kicks.
Depending on you to find true love
Would be rather Russian roulette-y
I think I would be much better off
If I stuck to my Lovegety.
Mr. K.D.:
Stop cribbing, and try to total up
The sum of the credit and debt—
Would you rather not have met Sanober at all?
Aren’t you glad for whatever you could get?
Adnan:
Are there any lucky ones at all who
Have their ardour reciprocated?
’Cause most of us tend to get knotted up in
Tangles vastly more complicated.
One-sided relationships, each one of us
Pining for the one we could not get;
Are we being ambitious, greedy, unrealistic
Or punished for some long forgotten debt?
Mr. K.D.: Don’t talk of debts old or forgotten, O slave,
Take Dania—have you been fair to her?
Adnan:
Is she obliged to reciprocate the love
Of the Slave-driver who pines away for her?
I did not ask her to fall in love with me…
(laughs)
Have I started sounding like Sanober?
Mr. K.D.:
Who sent Afshi to heal your wounds?
Who sent Khair ull to cheer?
What about the happiness that Sanober brought
In the weeks that the Angel was here?
What about the kisses you stole from her?
What about the hands you got to hold?
What about the prestige you briefly enjoyed
By keeping an angel in your fold?
You never give me credit for the pleasure love brings
You only pin your heartaches on me;
You’re a grown man, did I force you to love?
Don’t you share the responsibility?
Adnan: Let’s not talk of the past
Tell me what should I do?
How do I get to meet my love?
Mr. K.D.: We’ll have to find a way
(And a horse who will obey)
To fly you to Angel-land above.
The Ascension
So, K.D. found a way
(And a horse who did not neigh)
To fly Addy to Angel-land above;
The horse was young, unbroken
K.D.’s desire unspoken
Was that it should buck and give the Slave a shove..
Mr. K.D.: When you aim
A bit too high;
You should first
Learn how to fly.
You want to go
To Angel-land—
Then you should get
Your transport planned.
Come on, slave, get off your farce;
If you can, get on that horse.
Come on, slave, and move your brass;
It ain’t easy to ride that horse.
Adnan: Leave me alone, Mr. K.D., sir,
It’s no crime to be hopelessly in love.
Either unite me with her
Or help me forget that there ever was
An angel called Sanober.
Was the chance
To fly up to
Angel-land
Too good to pooh?
So, the Slave
Got off his farce
And tried to mount
The flying horse.
Mr. K.D. (to himself)
When he mounts
The horse will buck;
What? It didn’t?
Beginner’s luck.
(shrugs)
In any case
Along the way
The horse will toss
The slave away.
(The magic horse
Began to fly;
As he sped
Towards the sky.)
When he rides
That brutal steed—
It’s fun to watch
His bottom bleed.
But what is this?
We’re almost there
The Slave was not
Thrown off mid-air.
(shrugs)
Well, what if he
Has reached this Land?
For I have got
Surprises planned.
(to Adnan) So, you know how to move your brass;
Only love could have tamed that horse;
Only love could have given you that class
Only love could have helped you stay the course.
Adnan: Leave me alone, Mr. K.D., sir,
It’s no crime to be hopelessly in love.
Either unite me with her
Or help me forget that there ever was
An angel called Sanober.
In Angel-land
Angel-land was simply exquisite
Like nothing Adnan had ever seen—
Even better than the evenings spent
Holding hands with Sanober Ameen.
The splendours of Angel-land were blinding
Everything so soothing, serene;
But his eyes had no time for the place
As they sought out Sanober Ameen.
He glided past angels as he
Searched every inch of the site;
But his love was nowhere to be seen because
It happened to be Saturday night.
And that’s how K.D. had planned it to be
He wanted to cause the Slave pain;
For the hurt Addy’d caused the Danias of his world—
He’d be shown that his love had been in vain.
So he started calling out for the one he loved
Like a madman gone out of control;
`Sanober! My angel, where are you?’
His sanity was starting to unroll.
Adnan: Sanober! Sanober! Can you hear me call?
I’m missing you, my angel—and that’s not all
I have flown up to your land
To moisten your labial gland
The juices of your lips hold me in thrall.
Deeba: (loudly) The Princess is out. Could you try at eleven?
Adnan: Of course, I will, for I don’t have a choice
Looks like, at last, I’ll get to read my Jimmy Joyce
I’m no astral Ulysses
Sailing on heavenly seas
So I’ll wait here for your Princess—rejoice.
Deeba: (softly) Psst, Adnan, the fact is she’s not here
She scaled the walls—she thought the coast was clear;
Only K.D. saw her go
To Club Paradiso
And brought you here some mischief to engineer.
In fact I think I’m getting late
I must dress up quickly and fly;
They’re waiting for me at the Paradiso
Cheerio! Ciao! Goodbye!
The mention of the club got him down
His saddened face told K.D. his plan was working;
It brought out all of Addy’s insecurities—
Uncorked all the suspicions that had been lurking.
Adnan: (to himself) So the Angel bunks to Hell with her friends
Saturday nights she’s out with the men
When others sleep at eleven
She scales the walls of heaven
And stays out till the night decides to end.
But every time I’d mention
Moonlit walks in the quarry,
She’d say, ‘O Slave, I’d love them,
But I’m extremely sorry,
I don’t want to upset their dinnertime.
I must be back in Heaven before it’s nine.’
I’d thought she was an Angel—she’s not one
She’s got a rather mortal sense of fun
Deification’s fine
But no girl’s really divine
When you see them close they’re all quite homespun.
Mr. K.D.: (to himself) I first let fly my arrows
And cause lovers to swoon;
Then I pull out my dagger
And twist it in their wound.
I play on insecurities—
And all suspicions lurking;
Now take my plans for Addy boy
Evidently they are working.
So, now for the denouement
Now for the final blow;
I’ll take the Slave
To a mind-bending rave
At Club Paradiso.
The Slave was back on the flying horse
(This time the ride was smoother)
The turbulence now was all in his heart,
‘Should I really have pursued Her?’
The last of the Saturday Nights
Adnan: I can see this ending badly
Should I really have pursued her?
She’s much too good for the likes of me
Clearly I misconstrued her.
As he flew across the Universe
To that blasted Discotheque
The Angels came to the lobby
For a breather—and the cheque.
Deeba: I’ve got a tattoo
On my shoulder
I’ve got a pierced nose;
My skirt is shorter—
I am bolder
I’ve got fishnet hose.
Bick: Princess, that was some dance,
You almost took my breath away;
You’d have gone on till the morning
But for that sick DJ.
Sanober: You dance for twenty minutes
And you start gasping for air;
You call yourself a dude
But you badly need repair.
Bick: Look, everyone just can not be
Like that slave—what was his name?
We are angels, not stoneworkers,
We have other claims to fame.
Sanober: Don’t bring Addy into this, Bick,
He’s a man, not like you boys;
He would have danced all night with me
And still not lost his poise.
Butt: You’re a funny girl, O Princess,
You treat him worse than spit;
But if any of us criticises him
You fly into a fit.
Sanober broke into a giggle
(As she looked for a place to hide);
So she grabbed the boys by their biceps
And took them back inside.
Sanober: Now take these spongy biceps—
Adnan’s are more like rocks;
He has wise, intense, piercing eyes
Not chubby cheeks an’ mohawks.
He saw her feel their biceps
And pat their cheeks and head;
Adnan could only hear her laugh
But not the things she said.
And that’s precisely what K.D.
Wanted the Slave to see;
To be jealous of wealthier, cooler men
And writhe in misery.
Adnan: With me she’s never laughed like that
She’s never fondled my arms;
She’s never touched my face like that
With me she’s full of qualms.
Could that be ’cause I’m not her type—
I’m too much of a hick;
I am not cool or rich, I am
Too obviously lovesick.
Don’t fall in love with a star
He could see all the world was laughing at him
(Though he knew it was only in his mind);
That he had to put up with barbs hurled at him
By K.D., Dania, Bick and Butt combined.
Mr. K.D.:
The trouble with jumping too high
Dania:
And trying to kiss the sky
Mr. K.D.:
Is that when you descend
Dania:
Come crashing to an end
Mr. K.D.:
The fall will be that much harder;
Dania:
You will be blinded if you try
Mr. K.D.:
To look the Sun in the eye
Dania:
So, if your lover is a star
Mr. K.D.:
Spare your heart a scar
Dania:
Rein in your dreams
Mr. K.D.:
Control your ardour.
Dania:
Don’t fall in love with a star
Mr. K.D.:
Don’t try to reach for the skies.
Dania:
Learn to accept who you are
Mr. K.D.:
For every player cannot get the prize.
Bick:
So, you want to join the fan club, guv?
Butt:
There’s a waiting list of a million above.
Bick:
Your problem is you think you are alone
Butt:
Your problem is you’re hopelessly in love.
Dania:
Don’t fall in love with a star
Mr. K.D.:
Don’t try to reach for the skies.
Dania:
Learn to accept what you are
Mr. K.D.:
For every player doesn’t get the prize.
She never asked me to fall in love with her
So, Addy boy mounted his steed
(Leaving K.D.’s gang behind)
And turned the horse Earthward before
He went out of his mind.
Adnan: I think it’s time to get back home
And leave angels behind
And turn my horse Earthward before
I go out of my mind.
I think it’s time to face up to
What I’ve too long denied;
To save myself more hurt, and salvage
What’s left of my pride
I must accept that lovers should
Dictates of the heart ignore:
Go in for someone who loves you
Not someone you adore.
It’s time I finally got over
The Angel Sanober;
In fairness she never asked me to
Fall in love with her.
Back on Earth the Slave went to
His favourite part of the quarry;
Where gigantic idols reminded
Him of a painful story.
Adnan: She never asked me to fall in love with her
She only wanted me to like her for her mind;
But I fell in love with her lips and eyes as well
Can any human keep the two passions confined?
Creations of lust
Loving, hating, even feeling paranoid
Adnan did everything with vigour;
Therefore, when he stood near the cliff he thought
He could hear his sculptures snigger.
Adnan: Why do you laugh, O idols?
Is there contempt in those smiles?
Mine are the hands that fashioned you
And yet you mock my wiles.
I carved you there so that my eyes
Could touch her when I chose;
I made you so my hands could run
Over her—tip to toes.
You could not bring her close to me—
You were no substitute
So, I must wipe out each of you
Her memories to uproot.
It’s time I got rid of you stones
To break free of her spells;
If I can’t kiss her with my eyes
Why should anyone else?
But will the hands and implements
That toiled on you for years
Obliterate the images which
Contain my love, my fears?
They’ll have to—there’s no other way—
I’ll turn these stones to dust
To wipe off from the mountainside
Creations of my lust.
Creation and destruction: The tools’ rebellion
More than anger it was hurt
That filled our hero’s mind
As he started scanning crannies in the cliff
His implements to find.
He found the scaffolding and ladder
He found the chisel and the axe,
Thus armed he walked towards the cliff
Which had gotten used to his attacks.
But not his tools, for they had begun
To think of themselves as swells;
So when they found he’d raze to the ground
Their creations, they began to rebel
The chisel:
You used me first to sublimate your love
Now you want me to destroy;
The mallet:
I fall in love with the images I shape
Even if you don’t, Addy boy.
The axe:
Your problem is with the angel
Her idol has caused you no harm;
The chisel:
Next year you would have forgotten her
The mallet:
Time is the finest balm.
Adnan:
The longer that these icons remain
The longer I’ll be under her spell;
The ladder:
Well, in that case you ought to know
The scaffold:
Your tools have decided to rebel.
The ladder:
I will not let you climb on me
The scaffold:
I won’t give you my support;
The axe:
I’ll blunt my wedge before it can
Even scratch your rocky consort.
The mallet:
I was made to create, give birth to things
I know not how to kill;
Adnan:
You think you’re autonomous, but you are not
You are instruments of my will.
It is my hands that make you move
So get this straight, my pal,
You’re made of wood, not silicon,
Who do you think you are? HAL?
The icons that failed
And so he raised his hands and tools
To prise the statues out;
But as the chisel hit the cliff
He heard his best friends shout.
Afshi and Khair ull felt his pain,
So Afshi stayed his hand
Taking from it the implements
And the destruction he’d planned.
She placed her tender hands on his
So that he could be shown
That he had friends, support systems
That he wasn’t alone.
Afshi:
Hang on, Adnan! Don’t do that!
Khair ull:
Don’t touch those magic stones!
Afshi:
They’ve converted the cliffs out here
Khair ull:
Into artistic zones.
Afshi:
You art was yours before it
Entered the public mind;
Khair ull:
But once unfurled before the world
It belongs to all mankind.
Afshi:
So, what if these icons of yours
Have failed to touch her heart?
Khair ull:
At least in the process you have
Created a work of art.
Adnan:
Yes, what if all these rocks of mine
Have failed to touch her heart?
At least in the process I might
Have created a work of art.
FIN
‘The Bible of the broken hearted and the lovesick! Close your eyes, open any page of this book and randomly place your finger on any verse. You will find comfort and solace. (Didn’t work? Try ‘best of three’. No? Try best of nine.)’ The Capulet Chronicle, Verona.
[i] Sunday, 07 October 2007, throne and later balcony, RKP. First draft was ‘’because she’s an architect’ A later draft was ‘She know how to build them.’
[r1]28/09/2007 Fri While going to the pool and then while swimming
1 comment:
I believe there's a lot to discover, and its just the tip of the iceberg. Amazing so far.
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